Lactose Intolerance

I am proud of my lactose intolerance. You talk to anyone who knows Teddy for more than 5 minutes and they know I am lactose. I try to work it into any conversation I have, so that the first or second thing a person finds out about me is that I am lactose. Is this a good thing? Well, I guess it depends on your view. I think it is a great. People laugh. They think it is funny. I will be at a dinner with 12 people and I will ask for no cheese on my hamburger and they will all laugh because they know I am terribly lactose. The great thing is that I will often hear someone from across the table yell, "I am lactose to!" This is what excites me. Should lactose be a bad thing? Absolutely not. It is a great thing I think. It makes people laugh. I love macaroni and cheese. I love cinnamon toast crunch with milk. I love fettucini alfredo. But, in the end, I am lactose and people respect a man or woman who can stand up and say that without shame. I would love to scarf down a whole cheesecake, but it takes discipline not to, and I love the fact that I am disciplined. I am lactose and proud. Hope some of you are too.

What Makes Your Stomach Turn?

This is a blog about stomach problems. My goal is to form a community where we can discuss our problems and realize that there are others that share our stomach problems. I want people who are willing to discuss these problems in a fun environment and are not afraid to discuss their stomach issues which will allow others to feel better about themselves. This post is a list of the non-food related things that upset my stomach and make my insides turn. What are yours? Please leave a comment and let me know so we can further discuss your issues and understand why outside forces our destroying our stomachs.

This is a list of things that kill my stomach even though I can't help it. What are yours?

1. Fights with family/friends
2. My sports teams (Miami Hurricanes or Michigan Wolverines losing)
3. Work stress
4. Upsetting stories on the news
5. Traffic

Why Should We Be Embarrassed?

I will admit that on the rare occasion I will be embarrassed about a stomach problem. Not often, but every once in a while. Here's an example: I am out with my girlfriend. We are at a bar with eight of her girl friends, and zero of my friends. They are all dancing and having a great time gyrating and groovin' to the pounding of the bass. I, on the other hand, have to drop the children off at the pool. Usually that is not a huge problem. Usually I will get up, excuse myself, head to the nearest bathroom and do the job. But, when you are at a bar, we all know how it is. You know about the smelly stalls with no door, and the floors soaked with urine. You know about the overflowing toilets and the puke-ridden seats. Worst of all (and this is what I experienced on this particular night) there were only porta-potties. What is a man to do when he is faced with a porta-potty. It is in the backyard area of the bar, it is pitch black, and you can not possibly know what is on those seats. So, what did I do? I held it. Yes, I held it and had to tell my girlfriend I was not feeling well from over-drinking.

Why do I tell you this story? I tell you because we should not be ashamed about our stomach issues. It is a human problem, not an individual problem. I am sure every one of us, including those who claim to have stomachs that can "handle anything" have been in that situation. We have all been at the bar, game, lecture or movie where we can't hold it in any longer only to realize we have to. In reality we should all scream out, "Yes, my stomach is aching, and yes, I have to use the porta-potty at the risk of becoming infecting with a rare strand of ebola, but I am a human being and I will do what I must do to survive.

Food... Our Only Natural Enemy

We are the silent majority in the country. We are those that silently writhe in pain while the others enjoy their $38 steak, or $8 slice of cheesecake. We are those guys and girls at the party who won't eat the cake, won't drink the liquor and sure as hell won't eat the spicy shrimp appetizer that all our friends seem to be enjoying. We are the silent ones who rush to the bathroom before we sit down at our desk in the morning. We are those who get up in the middle of class and pretend like we are answering a phone call, when, in fact, we are going to our favorite place besides bed... the bathroom. Some of us are worse than others. Some of us have had the humiliation of paying 5o cents at a rest stop to avoid an emergency of epic proportions. Some of us have had to sit quietly during an opera, sports game or lecture while deep in our bowels a rumble greater than Mt. St. Helen's was shaking us to the core.

Food Intolerant is a release from the pain, anger, resentment, joy, humiliation and any other feeling that we may have about our relationship with food. It is a site where a community of those people with weak stomachs, lactose intolerance, IBS, acid reflux or any other stomach ailment can come to discuss the issues of the day or let out a fiery rant about their problems. It is also a site of joy. A celebration that we are who we are. This site will encourage you to take pride in the fact that you have a terrible stomach. It will encourage to let your co-worker, girlfriend, or boss know that you just took a massive crap in the bathroom from the left-over taco salad you just ate. It is a site where problems will be answered, advice will be given, and stories will be shared about stomach episodes that we have all experienced. Most of all, it is a site to remind us that we can live life fully with a stomach problem, and that the only way to defeat the problem is to accept the problem and laugh... laugh at yourself.